I was told

I WAS TOLD

I was told affection spoils you,
I was told that true love does not exists,
I was told that if it did I am not worth it.
I was told that because I am a girl I need to sacrifice,
My dignity, my individuality and my pride.

I was told, that I should listen,
I was told I was weak to feel the pain,
I was told that I should earn my respect,
I was told that to earn respect I had to do infinite amount of things
I was told that, the monsters who haunt me were showing me love.

I was told be a good girl,I
was told take the high road,
I was told stop self pitying yourself,
I was told try to be mature,
I was told that I am good for nothing.

I was told that right is wrong and wrong is right,
I was told that if I don’t get “A’s” I was not so bright,
I was told that I am lazy, fat and stupid.
I was told that to be a good mom, I will have to give up eating meat.
I was told that I am a shame,
I was told that I was born to take all the blame.

I was told things that you couldn’t imagine,
I was told that I am cold hearted,
I was told that I eat like a cow,
I was told that I walk like a man,
I was told that if I wear sleeveless shirt that I look like a wrestler,
I was told that it’s not my place to speak,

I was told that I am so disrespectful,
I was told that I am not wise cause I have no wisdom tooth.
I was told that I am so lucky to have the people who abused me.
I was told that being a women, is to give up your soul.
I was told that dreams do not exists and that was only my way out.
I was told that there is no light at the end of a tunnel.
I was told that at the end of the rainbow, there was just a muddy puddle.

I was told all these things, I tried to follow them to the word.
I was hit and hit by friends, family and all.
I was taking the high road, with nothing left for me.
I lost three kids, who never came out.
I blamed it on me ,
I thought that was my purpose.

I pushed away true love,
as I thought I was not worth at all.
I pushed away help,
cause I did not want to be weak.
I ran away from open doors,
I ran away from happiness.

I am telling them now,
F*** You all.
I am deserve to be happy,
to be loved,
to be a mom.

And I always
deserved it all.

-TARA 101 11th August 2009